|
|
Shope Part 2 ((2004-04-15 - 11:23 p.m.)) And now, back to Part 2 of "Shopenhauer's Not-so-Finest Hour"- I think I liked the first title better, but I'm not completely sure. Wait, I just thought of a third (keep in mind that one who is not a sheep probably will think im out of my mind, maybe I am, but at least my friends know how it is) ::::::::::Shope on a Pee-soaked Rope::::::::: Feel free to vote for either title one, two or three. Ok, screw the title- what the hell am I doing? (sometimes i like to draw my stories out really looong)
Upon walking back into the room with my blanket, finally all ready for bed, I was frozen in my tracks. Schmach had risen from her deep sleep (in the 2.5 secs I was gone)and she was now sitting on the crowded-yet-comfy-looking futon, her bright red dreads all herethereandeverywhere, looking like she was going to say something to me. At first I was kinda excited because I had been feeling like the oddball since she went to bed; the crazy one riding my creative high while everyone else is fast asleep. Yeah, I felt relief that she was not yet sleeping. I was mistaken. No, no. I wasn't the one feeling relief anymore, it was actually my sleepy sheepy friend who felt the need to feel relief this time... I suddenly realized the bright green ralph lauren wrinkly pajama pants our host had so thoughtfully lent her were around her ankles. sure enough, I opened my ears and heard the familiar 'tinkle tinklie tink' OH NO SHE DIDNT-- Me: 'SchmAAAAAEEEEch-nonono-[laughing, trying to take a deep breath and sound calm]Schamaaach, wh-wh-whaaa-t are you doing?' Schmach-[[[[wearing the goofiest, loopiest open mouth smile but with a totally matter-of-fact-and-a-bit-like-i-was-invading-her-privacy tone of voice]]]] 'I'm peeee-ing.' Me: [[[[laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe right and closing the door out of fear that I would wake up our host]]]] Hun, you're pee-[laughing at the shock of it all once again]-peeing on the bed. antOnio's bed. not the toilet, oh, Schmachy, wake up...' She was still tinklin away, it was soaking her feet and the puddle was now ginormous, extending under the bed to the hopefully unimportant cardboard chess set box. It was a good, long, soaking wet pee before she began to realize what she was doing. **ALLOW ME TO INTERRUPT MYSELF REAL FAST: schmach-only YOU could be so adorable when in the middle of such an awkward embaressing moment. it was all so horrifying and so CUTE at the same time**
After all of the night's consumed beverages had FINALLY emptied her now relieved bladder,she hung her head really low and a giggle began building increasingly larger. This was a relief, as she was no longer sleeping with her eyes CREEPily open. 'do you know what you did yet?'i asked She said 'i think im starting to realize,' her laughs now matching mine in intensity. i pushed over the mountain, sat down on the dry half of the mattress and composed myself before deciding what to do about the sitch, remembering we weren't at Schmelly's understanding and not easily creeped out parent's house. Poor AntOnio- I had just found out he couldn't stomach words like 'period' and 'nipples. this certainly meant we couldn't tell him what REALLY happened; he just doesn't have the unusual openness and amusement the three of us have for life's crude, un-ladylike yet unavoidable excrements and such. I wasn't too worried; I had just engaged in a much-needed, overdue, stress relieving, ab exercizing laugh. I know Schmach enjoyed laughing at herself a bit too. She fell asleep on the couch after smoking a ciggarette, trying to understand what made her do it. She was all-Was it the koney fries and chili dog?- or the Adderall?-Is it cuz I chased my antidepressant with a jug-o-pinot grigio...This didn't last long, however;she quickly fell back asleep on the couch after seeing me get out the cleaning supplies and some old rags. Afterall, I was refreshed after the laugh, so I quickly returned to my position of the oddball. or maybe the black sheep would better describe me. [[a baaa ba]] Schmel woke up in the morning before A, and as she ate her pop tart on the floor next to the bed i had made myself, we told her our experience half-awake. When Antonio woke up the three of us were back to our cuttin and pasting, even loopier than usual as a result of the 'accident'. Schmach took the sheets home with her, telling him that she was drunk and idiotically thought it sounded like a good idea to bring a big glass of wine with her to sip on while laying in bed. yeah, he probably won't want us shady girls sleeping in his guest room anymore. The moral of this loopy, swoopy tale detailing one of life's embaressing yet crudely enjoyable moments? Well- the fact is, everybody sleep walks and talks on occasion and I know tons of people wet the bed at some point. HOWEVER, I highly doubt anybody would ever look as cute wetting the bed as Schmach did in all of her silly, shocking Shopenhauer sheepy-ness. baa.
|
OK, back to biz-when I finally dragged myself into AntOnio's 'guest room', Schmach was sleeping peacefully while managing to take up almost the ENTIRE width of the futon. If Schmellie's man wasn't such a clothes whore I woulda been able to squeeze in between Schmach and the wall. Since there was a mountain of clothes between outstretched Schmachel and the wall,I knew I was gonna have to shovel most of it away so I could lay down. I was just about to begin this squeezin in when I remembered how everybody always bitches that im a blanket whore, so I decided on going back into the living room and getting my own blanket, being the considerate friend I am. 