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Please Make Me A Fave Diary!
((2004-04-10 - 12:17 a.m.))

I don't feel sad because I'm not out on a friday night.

I actually feel kinda good, knowing that I don't need the company of anybody but myself tonight.

I needed a night to myself, as many of them as I've had lately, I am beginning to appreciate them.

Philip (the exboyf, who i believe has remained nameless in this diary until this moment) has been driving me absolutely crazy. He told me he called Randy, the guy i rebounded with, who now I consider my ex-friendforever. My crazy ex, Philip actually called crazy rebound Randy a couple days ago when he read the letter of closure i wrote in my first issue of my zine, Karma (email me if you want me to send you one, espesh if you have your own zine to trade!) Basically, the letter is stating how Rebound Randy is ridiculously resistant to any type of relationship that crosses the friendship border.

To sum it up nicely, R.R. told me he didn't wanna hang out or speak to me anymore because I got upset at the end of a saturday night we spent together because he didn't want to end the night in a sleepover. One must note, we have had sex, a few times last year when my feelings eventually resulted in the same heartbreak, and a couple times this past "rebound" time. "Is he gay?" you may wonder. I've pondered that same question and wished the answer was yes, for the sake of preserving my self-confidence.

The point is, homeboy wasn't feelin me for the second time. I wanted Philip to read the letter I had written to Randy in my zine. I wanted him to see that I had moved on, I was a new person,my life no longer revolved around him. Afterall, it was a goddamn letter of closure, meaning it meant the end of R.Randy and myself. Well, Philip being the ABSOLUTE PSYCHO that he is actually called Randy a couple nights ago, to discuss the letter. Let me point out the fact that Philip's not supposed to contact ME, he could be arrested ON THE SPOT for doing so, and yet, he called Randy a couple nights ago! I should call the cops, huh?

First of all, how embaressing for me! I can't help but understand Randy for not wanting to be with me; he has seen the aftermath of my FUCKEDFUCKEDFUCKEDup relationship. Who knows what the hell Philip said to him.

Then Philip doesn't understand what's wrong with the picture.

Other behaviors that prove Phil is a stalker:

*he IMed me 40 times yesterday on one S.N.

*IMed me 30 times yesterday on another SN

*he's planted a recorder in my room on one occasion, in my car on another.

*he showed up to my work the day that I was already freaked out cuz I thought he had hired a taxi driver to stalk me.

*I changed the number i had for four years, just to escape his incessant calling.

*He found out that number, as well as the new S.N. I made up.

*he's called every single person I know, including my ex-boyfriend's roommate's cell phone, and my best friend's parent's house.

*he's convinced his twin bros (18 yrs. old) to beg for me to take him back online.

*he stole a cell phone from a high schooler he met at a club, just to call me 50 times that night. her mom called my ex-boyf and my bf's mom to try and find out who had the phone, and who he was stalking (me, who she couldn't get ahold of cuz I had changed my numb)

I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It puts me in a bad mood :(

On another note, I need people to link me as a fave! I don't have anybody to link, cuz none of my friends use diaryland, and I don't have anybody to recommend this to. DONT MAKE ME COME FIND YOU GUYS! I KNOW YOURE OUT THERE. At least I hope so, I know my diary lacks any visual excitement, as I do not yet know how to make webpages look pretty. Somebody, help me out!

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