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not found in textbooks ((2004-03-31 - 12:18 a.m.)) Things I've Learned Outside of School: Dont sit with your legs crossed when they'd rather be un. Sit how you want to sit. If you want to sit with your long legs outstretched, or your short legs under your butt, please do. Take your once a day birth control pill once a day, unless you and your partner are each 100% sure you are in love enough, responsible enough and financially able to support offspring for the next twenty years. one should also note that 50% each does not count, nor does 100% one of you, while the other would rather not make babies at this time. If pills aren't your thing, patch it up, get a shot, wear a rubber, or go oral, handle, hell, even anal... it's your life, just don't make new life till the time is right. Speak your mind, no matter how much they may disagree. The ones who disagree make for an enjoyable bitch-fest with your like-minded friend later on. They also make you realize how much you love yourself for not thinking their way. Revealing the honest number of sexual partners you've had will only bring about trouble. Unless you truly want to share the exact number (and believe me, if it's above 5, most men will overreact, no matter how much of a "big pimp" he has been) keep it to yourself and be suspicious of anyone who inquires of this sacred number. If your partner wants to know before the two of you engage in sex, agree to both of you getting tested for STDs instead. There's nothing that test won't tell you that the number will, in fact, it's the other way around. If he puts up a fight, don't give it up, trust me, he's not worth it. Invest in a vibrator instead. And if the curious individual is your best friend,ask yourself what good that knowledge would do for them. Cuz let's face it, hard times between friends equals malicious gossip. You give your sex partner number out to one person, you might as well get it tatooed on your forehead. Just another unfair aspect of life, and if you'd like to challenge my theory, go ahead, do tell him youve slept with 8, or 14, or 35 others. I bet you'll wish you had gotten tested instead.
The good times matter, but do not let them fool you. No matter how many times you stay up until 9am talking, or how passionate your sex, or how much you laugh, or how wonderful it feels to stare into one another's dialated pupils, nothing will guarantee the other person will be there for you when you need their sober love and care until they provide sober love and care. When your life is dark and scary and their love for you is shown without the chemicals, or the liquor, or the bud, this is when you know. They help you when you're sober and you're down and they'd rather do nothing else but see you smile, this is when love is pure and true. Embaressment is for people who are afraid of learning, afraid to fail, afraid to admit they're not perfect and most importantly, afraid to laugh at themselves for a moment. Every single one of us has boogers, we all get sharp ones and we all get gooey, slimey ones. Everyone farts, and those who won't admit this fact to their loved ones suffer tons of gastrointestinal pain. Which leads me to poop and the fact that unless you're a newborn, your shit stinks. We all get the occasional poppyseed, or spinach, or chocolate chunk stuck in our teeth without knowing. Everyone, even the most coordinated athelete or most graceful dancer, trips on the occasional crack in the sidewalk, or slips on a patch of ice, falls down, or (my personal fave) up the stairs. No matter how much you love your family, turn the excitement down a couple of notches when in the company of others. Misery loves company, it does not love other's happiness. But always turn the excitement up when surrounded with these loved ones, let them know how much you love them, and always, always hug your parents goodbye. Bite your tongue when you don't like a member of someone elses family. No matter how twisted the family ties or how much you have to listen to them bitch, you'll never make someone happy by saying that you understand why they hate their mother (or brother, sister, father, grandpa, grandma, son, etc...) This also goes for your friend's significant others, no matter how wrong they may be together. Don't try to force your opinions, or break them up, just smile and nod and wait for the day they realize for themselves that theyre with the wrong person. By all means, report dangerous situations to somebody who can remedy things if it's out of your reach. If your co-worker, friend, neighbor, is being abused, have someone look into it and do it quickly. Your instincts are usually accurate and if the signs are there, don't sit there- call the authorities or a women's shelter! Chances are, you're this victim's only hope. If she takes him back, chances are she'll always be a victim, but at least you did what you could. When your eyes hurt, quit staring at the computer and go to bed.
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